My boyfriend is home... At first, I was estatic.. I could not have been happier.. He was home, I loved him, he loved me.. we made love and everything was fantastic. Then two things happened. First, I never really thought I could hate anyone more than I hate myself, but now is not the case. My guy and I went through a rough patch a month or so ago and he was "fooling around" with another girl. It was mostly innocent, but it made him doubt his feelings for me, and this girl has a rep for being a total whore. She is a lot skinnier than I am, and that killed my self-esteem. Well past being past... she still fucking calls him and texts him, and he still wants to be "friends" with her. I have adamantly expressed how much I hated this other girl, but he swears they are just friends. She is fucking 17 and he is 27. And she has fucked every guy I've ever met, and probably every guy you have ever met to. She makes me sick, literally. Every time I see her name, her face, or hear her voice or see her number, my body shakes with anger, and my stomach turns and I want to throw up.
Well, she texted and called him tonight. Apparently she left some things in his mother's car while she got a ride home from summer school (what a fucking dumb bitch) and wanted him to bring them to her. FUCK THAT. The bitch is lucky I am a decent human being and won't break her shit and throw it away. Anyways.. I took my boyfriend's phone and told the bitch to stop calling and texting him, and I told him not to fucking text her back anymore, but she continued to do so, and he continued to reply -.- Then she calls him, and I told her that it was too bad she left her shit and we couldn't bring it to her. My boyfriend just says he can't be "an asshole" to her because he is a nice guy. Since when is he not an asshole?! He is always an ass to people, but apparently for some reason he can't be to this whore.
Already in a somewhat pissy mood, I try to get him to leave his phone in the room so that we can go watch TV on the sofa without him fucking with his phone so I give him a push out the door and he pushes back. We got into a little tackle fight. He only weighs like 150, and he tried to pick me up and had to use all of his strength to do so, and makes the comment, "damn you are a big bitch". WHAT THE FUCK?! And earlier he talked about how he wished I could have been at the beach with him, and I told him next year I would be able to go and I would be sexier and skinnier for the beach and he kinda made a "yeah right" noise he has and says pretty much that next year I'm still going to be the same fat old me that I am today and that he doesn't think I can lose the weight.
So yes, now my whole day and night were ruined. I'm really tired of this shit. I binged and purge an entire plate of chinese chicken and fried rice. I really want to shoot myself in the face.
God thats awful. You're boyfriend is being completely unreasonable, actually I think hes taking the piss really. And he says hes not an asshole... What about what he did to you with that girl, I'm pretty sure that constitutes asshole behaviour! I dont think you're going to get the sort of weight loss support from him so you'll just have to make do with us ;) Just wait until you're skinny and so beautiful you can rub it in that bitches face!
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thanks for the comment.. this made my day better :D In a way, I am getting support from him.. the fact that he has no faith in my ability to lose weight, kinda pushes me to do so.. That fuel that keeps me pushing is the day I'm gonna shove it in HIS face and say "I told you so, asshole". I mean.. he really isn't as bad of a guy as he comes off.. He just doesn't always think when he says something, and has his own issues. When he starts to see the progress, he will change his mind :D
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